There are 2 kinds of people in this world: People that are in need and don't know it, and people that are in need and know it. Everyone is struggling with something, and Alison’s goal for this episode is to tell others they are not alone. Our world is in desperate need of truth and vulnerability, and that is what you are going to get here. Most people are displaying their highlight reel to the world, but it is so important that you connect with people that are honest, and remember to not put any person on a pedestal. We are all human and we all struggle with thought distortion. If you are feeling stuck in a pattern of unhappiness, Alison is sharing her heart with you today so you can know there is hope to reach a state of peace. In this episode, Alison explains that the reason so many people are unhappy is that they are not aligned with the part of them that wants more for themselves. We have to get to the root of what is fueling the repeated experience that we continue to have. When we show up bitter or insecure, there is a reason for that and there is a way to get out of this cycle. We live in a mistake-averse society where we don’t often see others’ struggles, but Alison shares her struggles with you and wants to spread the message that there is a way to find peace and show up as your confident and loving self. Surround yourself with people that will show you the truth, and start with this episode. Key highlights: -How to not feel so crazy in your inner world and in the way that you experience life -Our world is crying out for truth and vulnerability -Most of us have been conditioned to feel crappy -It is hard to feel happy when you are not aligned with the part of you that wants more -What core belief is in charge of your emotional experience? -Sit and reframe the belief that you have about your pattern -Anger is a secondary emotion, and fear is a primary emotion, most people are trying to cover their fear instead of going to the part of them that is afraid and helping that part grow -We are shamed away from our rarity -Follow people that are honest, don't put anyone on a pedestal -When we show up defensive, bitter, or insecure, we're not our best selves, we’re in survival mode -When we show up happy and filled with love, that us that our identity -The people that are interested in your life are confident in themselves -It takes two to tell the truth. There is power in connecting with others -We live in a mistake-averse society -Alison shares her current struggles -No one knows anyone’s full story -“All fear is future based” it is very important that we take the now and bask in it -Stick with the people that share their hearts Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling Website: LagerCounseling.com YouTube: Alison Answers Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

This very special episode of Alison Answers - Mission Awake is one of both vulnerability and incredible strength. Kayla Stoecklein lost her husband, Andrew—pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California—to suicide. Being that Alison lost her husband in the same tragic way, Kayla and Alison feel compelled to awaken the world to the hidden shame that comes along with suicide. The aftermath of enduring such a painful and heart-wrenching loss can be too much to bear, but through these immense losses, there are lessons and messages that need to be shared with the world. In the wake of Kayla’s husband’s death, she embarked on a brave journey to better understand his harrowing battle with mental illness and, ultimately, to overcome the stigma of suicide. She knew she needed to become informed on the painful grip that mental illness can have on someone, and now she shares her story with the world through speaking events and her 2 amazing books, Fear Gone Wild, and Rebuilding Beautiful. Kayla and Alison’s grief and pain have been transformative in a way that they want everyone to know how to support someone in the depths of pain, and also those that are enduring grief. Key highlights: -Introduction to Kayla -Alison and Kayla’s desire to awaken the world to the hidden shame that comes along with suicide -Bedrock Principles -Pain is transformative -Kayla’s tragic loss and her mission to understand mental illness -The meaning of the title “Fear Gone Wild” -Her husband’s start of his mental illness -“Rebuilding Beautiful” meaning -The power of her blogs and writing for other people -Realizing she was part of a bigger story -Putting away the victim card and taking out the bravery card -Vulnerability allows us and others to take off their mask- that's the key to relationships and helping others -How we need to hear other’s cries for help, don't make it about you -Advice to people that may have loved ones dealing with suicidal thoughts -As soon as an outcome happens, everything before it is illuminated -Reaching out to others if you feel this way -Kayla’s life after loss - why she decided to move away and start over -How to support someone in their grief when you feel like you don’t have the right words -Your presence is a gift for someone dealing with pain and grief -Triumph after loss -When you see someone in shame, help them separate the shame from themselves Episode resources: Fear Gone Wild by Kayla Stoecklein: https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Gone-Wild-Illness-Suicide/dp/1400217679 Preorder Rebuilding Beautiful by Kayla Stoecklein: https://www.amazon.com/Rebuilding-Beautiful-Welcome-Dream-Bravely/dp/1400234212 Connect with Kayla: Website: kaylastoecklein.com Instagram: @kaylasteck Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling Website: LagerCounseling.com YouTube: Alison Answers Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

In our world today, so many people are craving truth, realness, and vulnerability. This episode is a solo where Alison gives you exactly what everyone needs to hear right now, so you don’t want to miss it because it is most likely the quick wake-up call you need. Without realizing it, so many of us are constantly looking for outside validation, and walking around with our thoughts on repeated loops. It is time to realize that we’re living in a state of automation and just repeating thoughts that have been embedded in us throughout our lives, but do you ever stop to think if those thoughts are actually YOUR thoughts, or just something you’ve always been told? The time is now, to wake up and create a new system of thoughts that will render the old thoughts obsolete. Does that sound difficult? It might be, but it is so worth it to reach a state of peace. So many of us are anxious and living in darkness, and you might think you need to do more to get out of it, but Alison says you actually need to do less. Tune in to hear the raw honest truth that we all need right now. Key highlights: The world is craving realness and vulnerability Everyone is looking for validation outside We have thoughts running on a loop We need to wake up and realize we are a record of experiences we continue to play in our minds We are addicted to feelings we feel the most Do you want peace? Do less Be awake and aware in the now, without judgment, in a state of peace You have to create a new thought system to replace the old one All fear is future based All depression and darkness are from a yesterday interpretation What to do when anxious thoughts creep in: tell yourself “I’m safe now” Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling Website: LagerCounseling.com YouTube: Alison Answers Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac

Lauren Johnson is an athlete-turned mental performance coach and speaker. She helps elite performers develop mental toughness so they can be their best, regardless of their circumstances. Prior to opening her own consulting practice, Lauren served as the Mental Conditioning Coordinator for the New York Yankees. Her practical, straight-forward advice and performance strategies provide real results that help individuals push through the many challenges life throws at us. In today’s episode, Lauren and Alison have a very real and heartfelt conversation about how our life circumstances shape who we are, and how we can use those instances to grow and learn instead of letting them control us and giving in to the victim mentality. We can take charge of our lives through the decisions we make, regardless of what we have gone through. It may take a while to learn to shift our mindset, but we have the power to do so. Lauren and Alison also discuss the devastating impact that suicide has on those left behind. Key highlights: Accepting reality even when it is very difficult Choosing something else instead of tearing yourself down Victim mentality vs. fighter mentality Lauren’s background and life challenges that led her to where she is The devastating impact that suicide has on those left behind. How personal tragedies can be used to your advantage. How our definition of success can shift over time Vulnerability is power to an extent How to improve your life through the decisions you make. Lauren’s experience working with the yankees What it means to be "mentally tough" and adaptable in our thinking. Connect with Lauren: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenjohnsonn/#experience Connect with Alison: Instagram: @alisonanswers | @lagercounseling Website: LagerCounseling.com YouTube: Alison Answers Facebook: Alison Lager Lcsw Casac